Graduation
by Miss Pataki
Summary: It's finally time for the gang to move on to middle school, but Helga's parents want her to go to snooty Reedington, the school Olga attended. Can she convince them to let her stay with her friends? And what's this about Arnold like *LIKING* her?


Hey Arnold!- "Graduation"  
  
By Miz Pataki  
  
Scene: Classroom in P. S. 118  
  
(Everyone's chatting before class starts. Helga is fashioning a straw from notebook paper for shooting spitballs at Arnold, who is sitting in front of her. Everybody pretty much looks the same. Their teacher, Ms. Pleakley (who looks like a cross between Mrs. Vitello and Miss Bitters), is desperately trying to quiet them down.)  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Class, class! Settle down!  
  
(No one takes any notice.)  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Class!  
  
Phoebe: (in a rare moment of assertiveness) Shut up!  
  
(Everyone goes dead silent.)  
  
Helga: Nice one, Pheebs.  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Thank you, Phoebe.  
  
(Phoebe nods politely.)  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Now, as you know, we are nearing the end of your last year at P. S. 118.  
  
(Everyone cheers.)  
  
Ms. Pleakley: But, before you go on to P. S. 119, there will be a graduation for all the sixth graders. Graduation is currently set for this Friday night at 6. All of you are expected to attend and Principal Wartz encourages you all to invite your parents. Now, please take out your geography books so we can finish our study of Genghis Khan.  
  
(She turns to the board as everyone gets out their books. Helga chews a piece of paper, stuffs it into her makeshift straw and shoots it. It misses Arnold and hits Lila.)  
  
Lila: Ick! (Raises hand) Ms. Pleakley?  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Yes, Lila?  
  
Lila: I'm just ever so certain Helga just shot this spitball at me.  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Helga, don't shoot spitballs at Lila.  
  
Helga: (scooting down in her seat) I was shooting it at hair-boy. Not my fault it hit (taunting) Lila.  
  
(She grabs another piece of paper, chews it and shoots it at Arnold. It hits its target.)  
  
Arnold: Ew. Helga, quit it.  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Helga, will you please refrain from shooting any kind of projectile object at your classmates? I swear, I am going to make you stop if it takes me til the end of the year.  
  
Helga: (grumbling) Better teachers than you have tried.  
  
(As Ms. Pleakley continues her lecture, Helga looks around to make sure no one's watching her. She then opens her book to gaze at the tiny sculpture of Arnold hidden in it.)  
  
Helga: (quietly swooning) Oh, Arnold, must I always resort to these childish games of shooting paper drenched in saliva at you? Must what is meant as a token of my affection always be seen as revolting? (She sighs.) Will you never learn of my feelings for you? Will I ever get the guts to tell you that all those crazy things I said years ago were true? Will I never again get to touch your lips?  
  
Ms. Pleakley: (loudly) Helga!  
  
Helga: (clutching her book to her chest) Uh…wha?  
  
Ms. Pleakley: (sighs) What country did Genghis Khan come from?  
  
Helga: Um…  
  
Phoebe: (whispering) Mongolia.  
  
Helga: Er, Mongolia?  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Lucky guess. Now, class, there will be a test over all the terms we've learned over the past month on Wednesday. I expect you all to study… Helga.  
  
Helga: What? What did I do?  
  
(The bell rings.)  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Go put your Geography books away, get a drink of water or use the restroom during the break- because I don't want anyone getting up during next period!  
  
Scene: In the hall.  
  
(Helga is putting away her book at her locker.)  
  
Helga: Was it me or did Pleak get on my case even more than usual?  
  
Phoebe: Well, you weren't paying very much attention to the lesson.  
  
Helga: Well, d'uh! It's not like I can when football head's sitting in front of me. Criminy, is it a federal offense to be in lo- annoyed to death by the kid with the stupid blue hat?  
  
Phoebe: Helga, you don't have to keep disguising it. All the girls in our class know.  
  
Helga: Lila blabbed? That's it. Pheebs, add "Strangle Lila" to my list of things to do.  
  
Phoebe: Lila didn't say anything. Neither did I. Rhonda just kind of figured it out and she told Nadine who told Sheena.  
  
Helga: Figures. Miss Stuck-Up can't survive without gossip. It won't be long before everyone in the whole stinkin' school knows.  
  
Phoebe: Why don't you just tell him how you feel?  
  
Helga: I have and I got nothing. How is telling him now going to change anything? I'm just going to get the same reaction.  
  
Phoebe: You never know, Helga. That was two years ago. He might have changed since then.  
  
Helga: Look, Pheebs, can we just drop the subject (sees Arnold getting a drink of water) of Arnold?  
  
Phoebe: Sure. Are you going to invite your parents to graduation?  
  
Helga: I don't see the point. They won't come anyway.  
  
Phoebe: I'm sure they'd be delighted to come, Helga.  
  
Helga: I doubt it. All they care about is *Olga.*  
  
Cut to the Pataki house that afternoon.  
  
(Helga walks in the door.)  
  
Helga: Miriam, I'm home! Not that you care…  
  
Miriam: (OS) Oh, Helga, you're home. Come in to the kitchen.  
  
(Helga obeys and finds Miriam on the phone.)  
  
Miriam: (into the phone) I know! We're so excited you're going to be here for her graduation!  
  
Helga: (to herself) Ugh…Olga.  
  
Miriam: Helga, say hi to your sister.  
  
(She hands her the phone.)  
  
Helga: Er, uh…hi, Olga.  
  
Olga: Hi baby sister! Oh, I'm just so jubilant. I can't wait to see you graduate P. S. 118. It reminds me of when I graduated…  
  
Helga: Y'know, I'd love to hear you babble, but I think Mom wants to talk to you…  
  
(She shoves the phone at Miriam.)  
  
Olga: Oh, okay, see ya, Baby sis.  
  
Helga: (to Miriam) I'll be upstairs.  
  
Miriam: Okay, honey. But come down when your dad gets home. We've got a big surprise for you.  
  
Helga: (going up the stairs, annoyed.) Hoo boy. I can't wait.  
  
(She enters her room and turns on the stereo. Vitamin C's "Graduation" is playing.)  
  
Helga: Can't they stop playing that stinkin' song?  
  
(She turns the radio off and goes into her closet. She pushes back her clothes and reaches her shrine. She grabs a book and a pen and begins to write.)  
  
Helga: (narrating) For so long have I loved thee  
  
Ever since we were both the tender age of three.  
  
For seven bittersweet years I kept so much from you  
  
Until I finally told all, but- alas! - denied it being true.  
  
Will I ever get the chance to tell you how I feel  
  
And not cover it up, but let my love be known as real?  
  
Will you embrace me with open arms, say you feel the same?  
  
Or will you be revolted and rip my heart out in the deadly love game?  
  
I know not what I would do if I couldn't have your heart.  
  
I only pray when I tell you the truth a new era starts  
  
In which I'm not so blustery, devilish and hurtful  
  
And you're feelings for me are more than just droll.  
  
Or is it all an intricate web I've woven to leave myself hanging,  
  
My soul borne in front of you, my love, and my heart half-remaining?  
  
(Helga shuts her book and sighs. She hugs the book to her chest and leans back.)  
  
Helga: Oh, Arnold, object of my girlhood desires…  
  
(She leans further back and falls over.)  
  
Helga: Ack!  
  
Bob: (downstairs) Olga, down to the trophy room, pronto!  
  
Helga: It's Helga, Bob!  
  
(She heads downstairs and into her sister's trophy room where Miriam and Bob are waiting.)  
  
Helga: Okay, so what's the big surprise?  
  
Miriam: We're sending you to the Reedington School for Gifted Children next fall!  
  
Helga: What!?  
  
Bob: That's right. And you better not mess up!  
  
Helga: But…but that's a school for brainiacs like Olga!  
  
Miriam: Well, your fourth grade teacher- Oh, what was his name…  
  
Helga: Mr. Simmons?  
  
Miriam: Simmons! That's it. Anyway, he sent over some of the poetry you wrote in his class and suggested the school to us.  
  
Bob: Apparently, you have an aptitude for lyrics and acting… (sees her blank expression) Yeah, it surprised me too.  
  
Miriam: Reedington will be great for you, Helga. There's so many more opportunities there and you'll make some new friends and-  
  
Helga: Mom, you can't possibly be sending me to the same school Olga went to. I don't wanna go. I mean, sure P. S. 119 isn't great, but I know people there. I can't go to Reedington! I won't!  
  
Bob: Oh, you're gonna go alright. You don't know how many strings I had to pull to get you into that place. The experience'll be good for you. Maybe you'll even win some of the same stuff Olga did, though I wouldn't count on it.  
  
Miriam: Now, B, you have to have some faith in Helga. I'm sure she'll do fine at Reedington.  
  
Helga: You don't understand. I'm not going to Reedington. I'm going to P. S. 119 like all my friends, got it?  
  
(She runs up the stairs.)  
  
Miriam: Helga, don't you want dinner?  
  
Helga: I'm not hungry! (slams door) And I'm not going to Reedington!  
  
Bob: She'll get over it.  
  
Miriam: I know, B.  
  
Scene: The next day at school.  
  
(Helga is sitting at her desk, her head in her hands while Phoebe listens to her moan.)  
  
Helga: They can't make me go to Reedington. I'm not going!  
  
(Arnold and Gerald come in.)  
  
Phoebe: Helga, Reedington is a highly respected school. All their students go on to be huge successes.  
  
Helga: As though that's gonna happen to me.  
  
Gerald: Let me get this straight: Your parents are sending you to Reedington School?  
  
Helga: That's right, Bucko.  
  
Arnold: Why?  
  
Helga: Why?! What kinda question is that? It's 'cos they want me to be like *Olga*, Miss Perfect.  
  
Gerald: No offense, but only nerds get into that school. You have to be really gifted to get in.  
  
Helga: You saying I'm not *special* enough to get in?  
  
Gerald: No, I just meant you're not exactly the type of person who I can see going there.  
  
Helga: That makes two of us, tall hair boy.  
  
Arnold: Aren't they gonna give you a choice?  
  
Helga: Why should they? I'll just choose stupid P. S. 119 over their ritzy, rich-kid school.  
  
Arnold: Well, I'm sure if you just tell them how you feel, they'll let you stay in the normal school district. P. S. 119's just as good as Reedington.  
  
Helga: Why do you care, football head?  
  
Arnold: Well…I…because you obviously aren't happy about your parents' decision. And well, I guess I'd kinda miss having someone shoot spitballs at me during geography.  
  
Helga: I guess I could explain why I don't wanna go to their stupid school…But don't go thinking it's because I like you or anything, football head.  
  
Arnold: (rolling his eyes) Don't worry. I won't.  
  
(They turn their attention to Ms. Pleakley.)  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Today in English, everyone will write a poem about their thoughts on the end of the year and graduation. Now, hop to it. Try not to need any help because I don't like being bothered by you.  
  
Helga: Lucky us. We get to write poetry. Big whoop.  
  
(She pulls out a piece of paper and scribbles some words on it.)  
  
Helga: How does this sound, Pheebs? (Reading) The end of the year is nice  
  
Because then comes summer and tea with ice.  
  
Graduation is okay too  
  
Because we wear long robes colored blue.  
  
Phoebe: It sounds a bit…uninspired, Helga.  
  
Helga: Well, of course it's uninspired! I can't release all my inner thoughts in a poem for school! (pulling out another piece of paper) That's what this paper's for.  
  
(She begins rapidly scribbling.)  
  
Helga: (narrating) My elementary years have reached an end  
  
But I'm still incomplete, longing to hold your hand…  
  
Cut to a while later  
  
Helga: (holding her paper) There-done!  
  
Principal Wartz: (On the PA) Will Miss Helga Pataki please come to the office? You have a phone call. (Pause) The secretary had to be out today…  
  
Helga: I bet it's *Olga*, calling to congratulate me on getting into her school…  
  
(She gets up, leaving her paper on her desk.)  
  
Cut to the office  
  
(Helga takes the phone.)  
  
Helga: Hello?  
  
Miriam: Helga, hi!  
  
Helga: Miriam? Why are you calling me at school?  
  
Miriam: This is gonna sound crazy, Helga, but I can't find my keys. Do you know where they are?  
  
(Helga slaps her forehead in disgust.)  
  
Scene: The classroom.  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Okay, I think you've had enough time to complete the assignment. I'll come around and pick your papers up.  
  
(She blindly goes around to everyone's desks. When she reaches Helga's, she grabs the paper on top…)  
  
Back to the office.  
  
Helga: I'm telling you, Miriam. The keys are on the hook by the door.  
  
Cut to the Patakis' house.  
  
Miriam: (into the phone) Okay, okay, Helga, I'll go check, but I'm telling you they're not gonna- (sees her keys on the hook) Well, whaddya know they are? Thanks, Helga. Bye sweetie!  
  
Helga: Goodbye Miriam.  
  
(She slams the phone down and heads back to class.)  
  
Helga: What a waste of time.  
  
(She gets back into the classroom and takes her seat. She doesn't see her *passionate* poem and frantically begins looking for it.)  
  
Helga: Where is my poem!?  
  
Phoebe: Ms. Pleakley came and picked them up while you were gone, Helga. I assumed you were done.  
  
Helga: She what?!  
  
Phoebe: Is something wrong, Helga?  
  
Helga: Yes! (whispering) She took the one about (glancing at Arnold) you- know-who…  
  
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh dear.  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Now, I'll pass you a poem by one of your classmates. Please, read it silently to yourselves. I've got a headache.  
  
Helga: Uh, Ms. Pleakley?  
  
Ms. Pleakley: What is it, Helga?  
  
Helga: Mine was…uh, not finished. Can I have it back?  
  
Ms. Pleakley: No, you may not. You had a good amount of time to finish it.  
  
Helga: But I-  
  
Ms. Pleakley: No but's.  
  
(Helga bites her nails as she waits to get a poem. Once she receives one, she looks at it.)  
  
Helga: (swooning, temporarily forgetting the situation) I have Arnold's. (She smells it) It smells just like him. (Sighs) Fate smiles down upon me from above…  
  
Harold: (reading aloud) My elementary years have reached an end  
  
But I'm still incomplete, longing to hold your hand…  
  
(Helga gasps.)  
  
Harold: Ha! Helga's a love-sick sissy! (Reading aloud) My soul burns, wanting one last kiss  
  
From your perfect, red wine lips…  
  
(Everyone but Helga, Phoebe and Arnold laughs.)  
  
Helga: (holding up a fist) Read that and you'll be eating your Mr. Nutty bars through your stomach.  
  
Harold: (shrugs) At least I'm not a stupid, lovey-dovey girl! (Reading) Your eyes reflect your heart of gold  
  
And I wish just to hold you, my sweet A-  
  
(Helga grabs the paper, chews it and stuffs the mash in Harold's ear.)  
  
Harold: Ew! Ew! Girl spit! Make it go away!  
  
(Everyone laughs. Helga smirks.)  
  
Ms. Pleakley: That's enough! Harold, Helga, detention here during lunch!  
  
Helga: (sarcastic) Break my heart…  
  
Harold: You just wait til after school, Helga, everybody's gonna know you like (mouthing) Arnold.  
  
(Helga sticks out her tongue at him and goes back to reading Arnold's poem.)  
  
Arnold: (VO) School's out and I just can't wait  
  
For Jolly Olly ice cream, swimming in the lake,  
  
Fireworks and warm summer nights.  
  
But something just doesn't seem right.  
  
I look forward to going to junior high.  
  
Before long, high school will loom nigh  
  
And all my friends will be there to have fun.  
  
Well, all, except for one.  
  
Whenever she's around, spitballs fly through the air.  
  
She hates me and doesn't know that I care.  
  
She's really not as bad as she likes to think  
  
But I've traveled her soul to the very brink  
  
And I know she's really a normal girl.  
  
But she won't be here in next year's whirl  
  
Of busyness in P. S. 119 over there  
  
And I hope she figures out I care.  
  
(Helga sighs happily.)  
  
Helga: He does like me…  
  
Cut to Helga's imagination.  
  
(She and Arnold are at the Graduation dance.)  
  
Arnold: Helga, you look lovely. May I have this dance?  
  
Helga: (giggling) Of course, Arnold.  
  
(They dance.)  
  
Arnold: I know this might sound crazy, but frankly, Helga, I love you.  
  
Helga: You do?  
  
Arnold: Yes. I've always loved you ever since I first saw you. And I've decided to come with you to Reedington so we can be together forever.  
  
Helga: Oh, Arnold…  
  
(They kiss.)  
  
Cut to real life.  
  
Helga: Oh, Arnold…I love you…Arnold…  
  
Arnold: Did you say something, Helga?  
  
Helga: Wha? I mean, yeah I said something. But it's none of your beeswax, football head.  
  
Arnold: (sighs) I just wanted to tell you we're supposed to pass the poems forward.  
  
Helga: Thanks for the tip, hair boy. (She passes him his poem.) And by the way, geek bait, I'm glad I'm going to Reedington because I won't have to hang around sissies like you!  
  
Arnold: (Annoyed sigh) I'll miss you too, Helga.  
  
(The lunch bell rings. Phoebe passes Helga a note.)  
  
Phoebe: Here. Something to read during lunch.  
  
Helga: Thanks, Pheebs. See ya after lunch.  
  
(After everyone but Harold exits, Helga opens the note.)  
  
Helga: (reading) Dear Helga, sorry about the poem. If I had known which one it was, I would have given her the other one. What was Arnold's poem about? You phased out with this dreamy look on your face after reading it. But I guess I would look that way too if I read something Gerald wrote. Anyway, I hope you can convince your parents to let you go to P. S. 119 with us. You're my best friend and I really need you. But if they don't, I think there's something you should do: Tell Arnold how you feel about him. He deserves to know and you may never get the chance again. At least consider it. Sincerely, Phoebe.  
  
(Harold tosses her a note. She opens it.)  
  
Harold: (VO) Arnold and Helga, sittin' in a tree, C-I-S-Z-I-N-G.  
  
(Helga writes "Too bad you can't spell" and throws it back to him.)  
  
Helga: (to herself) Harold, what a maroon. Can't even spell "kissing" and he's going into the seventh grade. Criminy, you'd think he'd at least get the rhyme right…  
  
Scene: Cafeteria  
  
(Gerald and Arnold are sitting at their usual table.)  
  
Gerald: Did you hear that poem Helga wrote?  
  
Arnold: Yeah. What Harold read of it, that is.  
  
(Phoebe comes over.)  
  
Phoebe: Mind if I sit with you today?  
  
Arnold: Go ahead.  
  
(He scoots over so Phoebe can sit next to Gerald.)  
  
Phoebe: So what were you talking about?  
  
Gerald: Helga's poem. (To Arnold) I can't believe you didn't laugh.  
  
Arnold: I just didn't find it funny. I mean, her words were honest and Harold just turned them into a joke.  
  
Gerald: Honest? Arnold, we're talking about Helga G. Pataki here. Those weren't her words. She's just a cold, unfeeling robot.  
  
Arnold: Look, she may seem like that on the outside, but she's not really like that. She's not as bad as we make her out to be.  
  
Gerald: You're joking right? Helga's just a rude, mean bully. There is no other side.  
  
Phoebe: (standing up, upset) I think I'll go eat somewhere else, thank you.  
  
Arnold: (standing up) I think I will too.  
  
Gerald: You're not serious? Just because I insulted Helga.  
  
Arnold: Gerald, if you like Phoebe, you're gonna have to be more tolerant of her friends. Helga's really not a bad person. She's just misunderstood.  
  
(He and Phoebe head out to the courtyard. They find a bench and sit down.)  
  
Arnold: Sorry about Gerald in there. He just doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut.  
  
Phoebe: It's okay. It's not your fault. That was really nice of you, standing up for Helga.  
  
Arnold: Well, she doesn't deserve the bad rap she gets. She's a good person. It's just that a lot of people don't bother to notice.  
  
Phoebe: It's definitely good you noticed though.  
  
Arnold: Why's that?  
  
Phoebe: Well, I'm not supposed to tell you, but remember her telling you some crazy things in fourth grade?  
  
Arnold: (lying) Vaguely…  
  
Flash back to "Hey Arnold! The Movie."  
  
(Arnold and Helga are at the top of Future Tech Industries.)  
  
Arnold: Love?  
  
Helga: You heard me, pal! I love you! That's right, I love you! Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day, building shrines to you in a closet, and filling volumes with poems about you? I love you, Arnold. I've always loved you, ever since I first laid eyes on your stupid football head. From that moment and every moment since, I've lived and breathed for you, dreamed for the moment when I could finally tell you my secret feelings and grab you and kiss you and- Oh, come here, you big lug!  
  
(She kisses him.)  
  
Cut back to real life  
  
Arnold: She said she didn't mean it. That she really hated my guts.  
  
Phoebe: You saw through her though, right?  
  
Arnold: What are you saying?  
  
Phoebe: Uh…gotta go.  
  
(She runs off. Arnold just shrugs.)  
  
Scene: Back in the classroom.  
  
(Ms. Pleakley is at the board, writing out equations.)  
  
Ms. Pleakley: Now, who can tell us the value of x in this equation?  
  
(She glances around the room at her bored students. Eugene is enthusiastically waving his hand.)  
  
Ms. Pleakley: (sigh) Eugene?  
  
Eugene: (jumping up) Oh boy! I get to go up and write on the board!  
  
(He trips over his own foot.)  
  
Eugene: Oof…I'm okay.  
  
(He gets up and goes to the board.)  
  
Eugene: See, the equation is 25 (x) + 8= 133, in which x would equal 5. First, you have to subtract 8 from 133, which gives us 125. We then divide 125 by 25 which brings us to-  
  
(The bell rings. Everyone cheers and runs out of the room, minus Eugene.)  
  
Eugene: Wait! You'll miss the thrilling conclusion!  
  
Scene: Outside school.  
  
(Everyone's heading off when Harold runs out.)  
  
Harold: Hey, everyone, I know who Helga likes! Hey, everybody look at me! Don't you wanna hear who Helga *loves*?  
  
Helga: Say a word and out come your vocal cords.  
  
Gerald: (to Arnold) C'mon, let's see what poor sap Helga roped…  
  
Arnold: Gerald, do you really think she wants Harold to announce it to the class?  
  
Gerald: Of course not, but that's not the point. If we know who she likes, we can get back at her for always making fun of us.  
  
(He heads over to Harold. Arnold sighs and looks at Phoebe who's pointing to a distressed looking Helga.)  
  
Phoebe: Do something!  
  
Arnold: What can I do?  
  
(He thinks for a minute.)  
  
Arnold: (loudly) Hey, the Jolly Olly man's giving out free ice cream at the vacant lot!  
  
(Murmurs are heard in the crowd. About a half goes running off.)  
  
Stinky: Who cares about stupid ice cream at a time like this?  
  
Arnold: Oh yeah, and did I mention he's handing out free lemon pudding?  
  
Stinky: Did he just say lemon puddin'?  
  
Sid: I think so.  
  
Stinky: Then let's go!  
  
(He and Sid head off, followed by about a third of the crowd.)  
  
Arnold: And, um, chocolate!  
  
Chocolate Boy: Chocolate?!  
  
(He runs off.)  
  
Harold: Come back! Don't you wanna hear Helga's secret?  
  
Arnold: Harold, did I mention he's handing out Mr. Nutty bars?  
  
Harold: (drooling) Mr. Nutty bars…That's it!  
  
(He follows the others. Arnold surveys the dissipated crowd and smiles. Helga comes up to him.)  
  
Helga: Uh, Arnold, that was, um…really nice of you.  
  
Arnold: Well, I didn't want to make your last week in the Hillwood school district terrible.  
  
Helga: Er, um, thanks. But don't expect me to treat you all nice at school! In fact, I hate your guts! Pheebs, let's go.  
  
Phoebe: Coming! (To Arnold) Don't listen to her, okay?  
  
(She runs after Helga. Arnold rolls his eyes.)  
  
Arnold: Girls.  
  
Scene: Back at the Pataki house.  
  
(Helga and Phoebe are in her room, studying.)  
  
Phoebe: I can't believe we're graduating.  
  
Helga: Me neither. Before you know it, we'll be in high school.  
  
Phoebe: We just have to get through the graduation ceremony. Then we head off to middle school.  
  
(Helga perks up.)  
  
Helga: (slyly) Get through it…  
  
Scene: Wednesday after school.  
  
(All the sixth graders are gathered in the gym. Mr. Simmons is addressing them.)  
  
Mr. Simmons: First on the agenda: Who would like to be our coordinator for the graduation dance?  
  
Sheena: Ooh, I would!  
  
Mr. Simmons: As it doesn't seem there are any more takers, the job is yours Sheena. Now, as you know, we're going to need a special speaker to make a speech about their experience here at P. S. 118. I suggest we start with nominations.  
  
(Rhonda stands up.)  
  
Rhonda: I nominate Arnold.  
  
Lila: I'd have to agree.  
  
Nadine: Me too.  
  
Arnold: (to Gerald) Why do they want me to give the speech?  
  
Gerald: D'uh. Because they like you.  
  
Arnold: What?  
  
Gerald: (standing up) I agree.  
  
Arnold: I can't give the speech! We need someone with a way with words…  
  
(He gets an idea. He stands.)  
  
Arnold: I withdraw and nominate Helga.  
  
Rhonda: What?  
  
Helga: Me?  
  
Arnold: That's right. I nominate Helga Pataki. I know she can write a good speech.  
  
Phoebe: (standing up) I concur. Helga will make P. S. 118 proud.  
  
Sheena: Me too.  
  
Harold: Well, I guess I have to agree. Otherwise Old Betsy'll get me…  
  
Stinky: Gawrsh, I'll go with Helga too. Arnold has faith in her and he wouldn't hold such a high 'n mighty opin'in of her if he didn't think she couldn't deliver.  
  
(One by one, kids stand up and agree.)  
  
Mr. Simmons: I have no choice in the matter then. Helga, will you give a speech for your class?  
  
Helga: Well…I…  
  
Arnold: Go ahead. You can do it.  
  
Helga: What the heck? I'll do it. But just in case I can't for some wacky reason, I want Phoebe to be my understudy.  
  
Mr. Simmons: That sounds fine to me. It's settled then. Helga will give our speech and Phoebe will prepare a speech in case Helga is unable to perform her duties.  
  
Scene: Later, in front of the Hillwood Psychiatric Therapy building.  
  
(Helga enters, wearing a trench coat and hat. She approaches the secretary.)  
  
Helga: Can I see Dr. Bliss, please?  
  
Secretary: (filing her nails) Third door in the right hallway.  
  
(Helga goes down the hall and into the room. Dr. Bliss is sitting at her desk, writing something down.)  
  
Dr. Bliss: Helga, what a pleasant surprise. What brings you here? Please, sit down.  
  
(Helga takes off her disguise and sits down on the couch.)  
  
Helga: Doc, I got a problem.  
  
Dr. Bliss: Shoot.  
  
Helga: Well, my parents want me to go to Reedington, but I want to stay with everyone at P. S. 119.  
  
Dr. Bliss: Have you told them this?  
  
Helga: Yeah, but they don't listen. And it's even worse 'cos Olga's in town to see me graduate and lecture me about Reedington.  
  
Dr. Bliss: Well, that doesn't leave you with too many options then.  
  
Helga: I had this idea, but it's kinda crazy.  
  
Dr. Bliss: Why don't you tell me about it?  
  
Helga: Well, okay. But don't make fun of me…  
  
Cut to after she explains.  
  
Helga: So that way, I technically can't go to Reedington.  
  
Dr. Bliss: I see. (pause) You seem a bit frigid today, Helga.  
  
Helga: Well, things have been weird lately.  
  
Dr. Bliss: Arnold?  
  
Helga: Yeah. I mean, when I tell everybody I have to go to Reedington he starts acting like he's actually going to miss me or something. And then, in this poem he talks about some girl who's going to be gone next year and that he hopes she knows he cares.  
  
Dr. Bliss: Hm. Intriguing.  
  
Helga: And when I write this poem about how I'll miss him and Harold's about to tell everyone that I like Arnold, he intervenes by telling everyone the Jolly Olly man's giving out free ice cream. On top of that, just this afternoon he nominated me to give our class speech.  
  
Dr. Bliss: Sounds like somebody's got a crush.  
  
Helga: What?!  
  
Dr. Bliss: I merely commented that from the looks of it, I'd say Arnold likes you.  
  
Helga: You think so?  
  
Dr. Bliss: I'd say it's a definite possibility.  
  
Helga: Wow. I- well, there's no other word for it.  
  
Dr. Bliss: I'd say you have a lot to think about. Now, I hate to cut you short, but I have another "patient" coming in a few moments. Somebody you know…  
  
(She winks at Helga.)  
  
Helga: Oh, okay. See ya, Dr. Bliss.  
  
Dr. Bliss: Bye, Helga. Here's hoping you go to P. S. 119!  
  
(Helga exits the building and runs into…Arnold.)  
  
Helga: Hey, watch where you're going, football head!  
  
Arnold: Sorry, Helga.  
  
(He helps her up.)  
  
Helga: You better be.  
  
Arnold: Well, anyway, good luck on your speech.  
  
Helga: I don't need it. I've got everything in here (points to her head), Bucko.  
  
(She walks off towards her house.)  
  
Scene: Dr. Bliss' office.  
  
(Someone knocks at the door.)  
  
Dr. Bliss: Come in.  
  
Arnold: (coming in) Hi, Dr. Bliss.  
  
Dr. Bliss: Arnold, nice to see you again. Anything in particular you wanted to talk about?  
  
Arnold: Kind of.  
  
Dr. Bliss: A girl?  
  
Arnold: How'd you know?  
  
Dr. Bliss: (smirking) Lucky guess. And speaking of luck, who happens to be the lucky lady?  
  
Arnold: I know this sounds weird, but…Helga Pataki.  
  
Dr. Bliss: School tough girl?  
  
Arnold: Yeah. It's complicated. I don't know where to start.  
  
Dr. Bliss: How about the beginning? We've got all the time in the world.  
  
Scene: Thursday at school.  
  
(Helga walks to her desk and sees a note on it. She opens it. Inside it simply says, "Tell him ~Bliss".)  
  
Scene: Graduation night.  
  
(Mr. Simmons is talking to everyone off to the stage door.)  
  
Mr. Simmons: Just remember, act natural. Now, is everyone here?  
  
Arnold: (to Phoebe) Where's Helga?  
  
Phoebe: I don't know. She was here just a moment ago.  
  
Gerald: Don't tell me we lost our speaker.  
  
Arnold: Phoebe, you go look for her in the west wing. I'll take the east. Gerald, you stall.  
  
(He heads off.)  
  
Scene: The east hallway.  
  
Arnold: Helga? You there?  
  
(He sees a light on in Ms. Pleakley's room. He opens the door and finds Helga sitting in Ms. Pleakley's chair.)  
  
Arnold: Helga?  
  
Helga: Congratulations, football head. You found me.  
  
Arnold: Helga, what are you doing? You're supposed to be giving a speech.  
  
Helga: Yeah? Well, I don't feel like it, hair boy.  
  
Arnold: Is this about going to Reedington?  
  
Helga: Maybe.  
  
Arnold: Look, just tell your parents you don't want to go.  
  
Helga: I've tried. Nothing works. So that's why I'm not graduating. I can't go to Reedington if I don't graduate.  
  
Arnold: Helga, that's crazy. It shouldn't matter what school you're going to.  
  
Helga: Oh, yeah? And why's that?  
  
Arnold: Because the people who are your friends will be your friends no matter where you go to school.  
  
Helga: You don't understand. There's just so much pressure from my parents and Olga to be perfect and I can't be. I can't live up to their expectations. It doesn't matter if they send me to Reedington. I'll get kicked out anyway.  
  
Arnold: Just forget about Reedington. All you need to do now is go out there and give your speech. Whether you go to Reedington or not, Phoebe and I will be there applauding you.  
  
Helga: You mean it?  
  
Arnold: Of course. (Extending his hand to her) Now, c'mon.  
  
Scene: In the audience.  
  
(Helga's parents and sister are sitting with a woman in a suit.)  
  
Woman: Now, Helga IS giving a speech, correct?  
  
Olga: Oh, of course! And my baby sister's going to do a wonderful job!  
  
Cut to the stage where everyone, minus Helga and Arnold is standing.  
  
(Mr. Simmons walks up to the microphone.)  
  
Mr. Simmons: It appears Miss Pataki is not here to give her speech, so instead we have Phoebe Hyer-  
  
Arnold: Wait! She's here!  
  
(He and Helga run in. Helga goes up to Mr. Simmons.)  
  
Helga: I'll take it from here.  
  
(She clears her throat.)  
  
Helga: Over the past six years, we've all shared a lot of experiences here at P. S. 118. We never really noticed it, but we were constantly learning lessons that I know will benefit us later in life. But one thing sticks out as the most important: comradeship. Friends are what makes life great. Without them, we'd be lost in this world. I don't always get along with Miss Perfect Lila or Rhonda the fashion slave or football head, but they're always there when you need them. And no matter what you go on to do with your life, they'll always be there to cheer you on. Unfortunately, I learned this a little too late. You see, next year I have to go to some snooty school called Reedington. I really don't want to go, but a very close friend of mine showed me tonight that even though I'm going to another school, my friends will stick by me. He's an exceptional person who's been there since preschool and has always been my silver lining. And as I go onto whatever crappy school my parents want me to, I just hope I can find a friend half as good as him. Thank you.  
  
(Applause.)  
  
Cut to the dance afterwards.  
  
(Phoebe's wearing a cute blue dress while Helga's donning a pink one. Go figure.)  
  
Phoebe: I'm so glad you decided to graduate, Helga.  
  
Helga: Me too, Pheebs. It would've been stupid for me not to.  
  
(Arnold comes up to her.)  
  
Arnold: Uh…Helga?  
  
Helga: Yeah?  
  
(Just then the woman in the suit comes up to Helga.)  
  
Woman: Miss Pataki, I'm the dean of Reedington School for Gifted Children and I regret to inform you that we don't have a place for you.  
  
Arnold: What are you talking about? Did you hear her speech?  
  
Woman: I most certainly did, and let me just say that I expected better of Olga Pataki's sister.  
  
Helga: Most do. Hey, do me a favor. Tell my parents I won't be going to your school next year, K?  
  
Woman: I plan to do just that.  
  
(She heads off in a huff. Helga turns to Arnold.)  
  
Helga: What did you want, Arnoldo?  
  
Arnold: Well, I just wanted to say that your speech was…really good.  
  
Helga: Well, of course it was- I mean, thanks.  
  
Arnold: And um, do you maybe…wanna dance?  
  
Helga: I'd…love to.  
  
(As he leads her onto the dance floor, she sighs.)  
  
Helga: (to herself) I get to go to P. S. 119 with everybody next year AND Arnold actually asked me to dance with him. This day can't get any better.  
  
(As they dance, he dips her gracefully.)  
  
Helga: (smiling) I lied. 


End file.
